Week Fourteen : Thanksgivings

THANKSGIVING

This year is my hardest. I've always gave thanks for everything that I have. I go to church to give thanks for what GOD has given me. With that I am absolutely sadden.

A year ago.. :) I loved my life. And I've lived with ED for 17 yrs.. getting close to 18 yrs. Now this fight against Ed feels like it's destroying me! I'm confused and alone ..

I would give thanks that I am still alive and kicking =)

I have a husband that for one reason or another has stood by me.. he's stood by me!

I have 3 beautiful boys!!!!!

They are frustrating that's for sure. Hard. Not because they are not trying but because I am trying to fight Ed so much that it's so hard to now handle them and I feel like I'm not doing enough. Like I can't do enough.

I am trying to keep this as lite as I can but I am in a real low place and I'm trying to not be. I just don't have the energy right now to fight against Ed, or my doctor, or my t. Or then dealing with the boys homework/sports/clothes/cleaning. Trying to figure out times for me to just be able to relax and be alone. My only alone place is the bathroom. So I am just in a tough spot.

To go back.. To end it.. I give thanks that God blessed me with 3 boys.. and that I am some reason still alive. I hope to believe that he has something more for me.. *fingers crossed*.