So here I go and suggest this topic, because I thought I had finally understood how to handle things. Then life hits me with a loop and I really don't know anymore.
Growing up I couldn't ever express myself. Even now it's hard for me to. So when I had things happen I just held it in and try to ignore it. Forget that it ever happened. I put up a pretty good wall. Not saying that people still couldn't hurt me, because they still did. I just tried to make sure that they never saw it.
Lately, I was doing well with things. If it got to me where I felt like it was becoming too much I would just walk away. Go listen to music, or sit in the bathroom because that's like the only place ppl won't bother me:) I stopped with the confrontations and just said whatever it's not worth it right now. I was doing good at picking my battles. (which I hadn't been for sometime).
So here I think I'm doing well. Things are on a positive note looking up. Then I got bad news. Scary news for me anyways. I still don't know what to think. I want to wake up and just find out it was all one HUGE nightmare. I've just been crying a lot and I have to figure out things. I'm just scared and lost and I want to hide under covers for days.
Not sure why I thought I was untouchable or something like that, but I just thought that everything would be okay. And I'm mad like at the world. I'm mad at me. I'm pissed at Tom for butting in my life, when things were just fine and ever since he had to do this to me it's one thing after another. I was really hoping that after what all happened last year and all the hurt that that was my rock bottem and things were going to start getting better. Guess I have a worse year this next year.
Well, maybe after, if everything works out. I'll be able to say how I handled things. Til then I really don't know now. I wish I had the answer because I could really use it right now:)
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